Gratitude

The first interview I did for my book was with Lisa who had stage 4 (metastatic) breast cancer. Lisa is no longer with us, but she will stay with me forever in my heart. Here is Part of that ingerview:

“As a result of the diagnosis there is a lot more gratitude that I feel or at least I’m trying to be more expressive about.  I think you become much more empathetic.  You recognize that everybody has their things they are dealing with.  I have always wanted to be there for somebody else when they’re dealing with things but I’ve never really known how to do that or how important that is. 

I got tons of cards from people after I got my diagnosis.  It was amazing.  It was absolutely amazing.  A couple months afterwards my mother was visiting and she likes to clean.  I had cards everywhere.  She was going to go straighten everything up.  She asked, “Is there anything I can’t throw away or can’t touch?”  I said, “Do not throw away any of these cards”.    I’m not a sentimental person.  Birthday cards: don’t waste your money.  I don’t need any cards.  Bet these cards were so important to me.  Eventually I went out with some folks and we found, at Ikea, a picture hanging wire thing and I had three rows of them.  My dad hung it up for me and I took a picture of the cards and put it out there and I still have every single one of them.  I don’t keep any other cards, never have, but I just couldn’t throw them away.  It made me realize how important something like that can be for somebody.  It doesn’t matter if it’s right away or two months later or sometimes it came on a particularly hard day.  They’re awesome.  Realizing that you need to do that for other people and how important that can be is something I learned. “

I feel the same way. When I received my second breast cancer diagnosis, my primary provide sent me a hand written card. That meant a lot. Since my book was published I have sent books to contributors and patients I hear about that are struggling with their diagnosis. Many of them are sending me thank you cards. Like Lisa, I have saved every one of them.

I am sending more cards myself, especially during COVID when we can’t always express our care in person. I am also sending Thank You cards and just acknowledging the trials and contributions of others. This year Thanksgiving has taken on new meaning.

It sometimes takes struggles and hardship to teach us the meaning of gratitude.